Thursday, January 29, 2009

My hopes for fame, after long delay, dashed on the rocks of exclusion!

A couple of months, ago an issue of Amazing Spider-Man (#575, written by Joe Kelly, whose series I Kill Giants you really should have been reading) so offended me that I wrote a brief e-mail of complaint immediately upon reading it--actually I set the issue aside immediately after the offending four or five pages but thought it wise to finish the issue before airing my ire, lest later events change my interpretation of the offending pages.

There is a character in these pages, called Greta, who is a mockery of a mentally ill homeless person, and she's used solely as the build up to a barf gag. I didn't want either of those things in my Spider-Man comics, so that's what I wrote, adding "small-minded" and "mean-spirited" and mentioning that I, a nobody who writes nothing, would be ashamed to make a joke of that kind.

So the weeks rolled on. I didn't realize the gap between issue completion and street date--even though the letters pages usually tell you exactly which issues the letters are commenting on, and I could have compared the cover dates. Well, I never had any interest in it before. But I became impatient.

Then, for mysterious reasons, a particular issue of Spider-Man attracted an unusual amount of media attention--going to four printings so far, and selling out, even with restrictions on per-customer purchases, in bustling comics stores all across this--also mysteriously--newly hopeful land.

I get my Spideys in the mail, so I was aloof from the hoopla. I think I'll change the name of my blog to Aloof From The Hoopla.

Aloof, except for the fact that two weeks after the street date I still didn't have my copy of the mysteriosly popular issue--and I wanted to know if they printed my letter.

What if my letter ended up in the issue that was taken home by four times as many people as a usual issue? FOUR TIMES as many people wouldn't give a crap that I didn't like a few pages of an issue they didn't read!

Right. I got my copy yesterday, ending my waiting agony. I have no idea what the fuss is about. There's nothing special about the cover I have. Just Peter, Spidey and some women. And a Cougar joke. But sure enough, the letter column--double-sized, I might add--is devoted to issues 575 and 576!

My letter is not there.

Hmf. I didn't want to be in your incredibly sought-after comic anyhow.

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