Friday, May 29, 2009

The Wages of Sorcery

This is a riff on a table James Maliszewski did at the always excellent Gorgnardia. I'm just gonna spitball my ideas for the sorcerous disfigurements that might have caused the Filmation magic-users to get all villainous looking.

Roll when a Magic-User (Thunderan Jaguar, Etherian/Eternian Sorcerer, Etherian Ice Witch, Mongo-oid Ming-Ling, New Texan Dreamwalker, Trollan Retarded-Mage, Gungan Blooddrinker, Shianti, etc.) levels up:

1-SKULL FACE (roll again for color: d4, white, pus, pus with neon green, red)
2-BRIGHT YELLOW SKIN (or list your own colors, be sure to include the Carcosa colors, fuligin and squant, and other colours out of space)
3-REPTILIAN ECZEMA (this is why Hordak's court magician Shadow Weaver is all covered up. I can't tell you why she still looks so hot.)
4-STUPID-LOOKING ROBOT/SKULL FACE (sometimes the results of disfigurement are lame--tough break Hordak)
5-HOUR-GLASS EYES (It's from Dragonlance. What's that? No, I'm pretty sure it's rad)
6-MONEYEYES (Harlan Ellison. Haven't read it, but I'm sure it's rad) TEETH-EYES (thanks, Chris!)
7-BLOOD ADDICTION (maybe this is where vampires come from)
8-TORMENTING VISIONS (like the voices of schizophrenia, but prophetic)
9-MOONLUST (werewolves, ho-hum, but also Lunatic elves. What? Elves? I don't think so)
10-CHAOS GIFTS (a la Cthangband, could also be drawing the attention of devils and mischievous godlings)
11-OCTOPUS FACE (this is probably the reason I'd take up sorcery)
12-NEUROSIS (Y-A-W-N, but if you get it again, it goes up to PSYCHOSIS)

So, this table is crap right now, but if I put it out there maybe I'll be ashamed enough to come back and get it ready for use.


Christopher B said...

"11-OCTOPUS FACE (this is probably the reason I'd take up sorcery)"

Amen, brother!

Chris said...

5 or 6: needs moar Eyeteethwv: questro

Aaron Nuttall said...


T. Smitty said...

Wow, by level 5 that PC is going to look messed up.

Aaron Nuttall said...

Boy, you're right about that--I was picturing the thing only happening once, since that's coolest--maybe twice. So, I'll make it a 5% chance, increased by the vileness of sorcerous deeds. Don't roll a one!