Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Fabled Artifacts of The Mutant Earth

EDIT: I've learned Crystar's evil brother is named Moltar, but he's been Magmar to me for 25 years, so that's his name on Mutant Earth, got me? Another consequence of my new knowledge is that Lava Axes, Shatterpults, Magma Maces, and the Skull of Danzyg have now been added to the list of Fabled Artifacts. Danzyg is, of course, a vile Demon Prince. Maybe even Live Demonsweat?

You already know these items, though perhaps by different names.

But before I begin, a word about the name of my campaign: though it does seem like the kind of setting that would work well with Gamma World and the neo-retro Mutant Future (both of which I will consider as rulesets. . . eventually), the name Mutant Earth comes from a game I made up in '87 or '88 or '89 to play with my brother and friends. It was a grab bag of ideas from games I wanted but couldn't get ahold* of: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles mainly, but also D&D itself, and, though I didn't actually know it existed, Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay which I encountered through GW's Combat Cards, which we adored.

Now, On To The Artifacts:

The Sun Sword
A plainly wrought hilt that springs to life as a blade of thrumming light at the wielder's command.

The Sword of Power
Truly the legendary blade of Eternia, is said to transform the wielder (and even his steed) into a great hero, provided the proper incantation is known--and the bearer is pure of heart.

The Sword of Protection
As above, but for girls. You can comb their hair!

The Eye of Thundera
Said to give the wielder Sight Beyond Sight. Might require possession of the Lion's Paw as well. I'll get back to you on that.

The Havoc Staff
A ram's skull on a stick. Shoots beams of Pure Evil. Also freeze rays.

The Serpent Cowl
Worn by sorceress queens and demi-goddesses of the Eternian Age of Legend. Nothing is known about its powers.

The Armor of Nakedness
Is is sorcery or pure willpower? Either way, possession of this gift allows warrior-women to beat off hordes of slavering beasties clad in no more than a mail bikini or a white one-piece swimsuit. Fighting-Men can do likewise in nought but a fur diaper.

The Ruby Spears
Artifacts of weird far-future technology that has come unstuck in time. Well remembered but neglected.

The Star Sword(s)
A godly weapon split into two powerful halves. An easy story hook for the battle of good and evil.

You know what? I want Crystar and Magmar (you may know him as Moltar) up in this bitch. What series advertised their toys? Visionaries?

The Weapons of The Children
Only two of this collection are actually weapons: The Thunderclub and the Story Bow. The former is an earthquake bound in wood, while the latter always seems to do exactly what the wielder requires, and with a lovely beam of golden light. The other members: the Arrogant Shield, The Thigh-High Boots of Stealth, the Collapsible Vaulting-Pole, and the Rabbit Hat speak for themselves.

The Crimson Pearl
Lusted after by the Mermen of Eternia who know the secret of unlocking its power--through blood sacrifice--to gain mastery of the creatures of the deep. Like Aquaman.

Alright, that's long enough for one post. I want to do another one, so come on back soon.

*I see Blogger's dictionary is ahold-ophobic, like most folks I know. It's obviously a perfectly fine word, but nobody has the balls to use it in writing. UNTIL NOW.


Mike David Jr. said...

You got it! Visionaries-shapeshifting knights. Don't forger Silverhawks, Tigersharks, and Inhumanoids! What the held, throw in Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstone!

You also need Rabbit People like that green rabbit that help Han Solo in the old Marvel Star Wars comic.


Aaron Nuttall said...

It's about time I unwrapped those Silverhawks DVDs! I'm interested in these Guardians of the Gemstone. I've never ehard of them.

Meanwhile: PRAISE THE LORD!!! G.I. Joe returns to DVD!

Oh, turns out Crystar was supported by a Marvel comic series rather than an animated series.

T. Smitty said...

The new GI Joe movie trailer looks kinda stupid.

Aaron Nuttall said...