Friday, July 16, 2010

How the Dinosaurs Got Their Lasers

Millions of years ago, back in Dinosaur Times on Earth, there were all kinds of civilizations on Mars with a bunch of uniquely Martian artforms, philosophies and all that crap--but the interesting thing was the giant white four-armed apes.

One of these Martian cultures launched a Mixed Martian Martial Arts Tour Rocket to Earth (still in Dinosaur Times) to fight a bunch of title bouts. Of interest to us today is the one that pitted Martians on Tyrannosaurs with Laser Howdahs against giant white four-armed apes.

Obviously, it was a disaster for the Martians and the apes rioted and ate all the Martians and zapped the Lasersauruses with suspended animation rays.

Flash forward a couple hundred million years: the apes have evolved into humanoids--smaller now, about the size of the native hominids, but still four armed. However, the lower two arms are now much smaller than the upper two and are called "tickle arms" because they are now generally associated with intimacy, while the "work arms" do the manual labor.

Now, the ancient Martian Martial Arts technology is a true marvel, as the suspended animation field generators continued to function through all the eons, though they are starting to show signs of malfunctioning. . .

The Laser Howdahs, of course, haven't aged at all, as they have been Outside Time all this, er, time.

Well, crap--here's half an episode of Dino-Riders, show that I really wish I had known about before just now:

2 comments:

Trey said...

Been reading the classics again have you? ;)

Aaron Nuttall said...

Do I admit I haven't read those classics? No, I don't think I will admit that.