Hot Elf Dude Welcomes You To The OSR

(Pic from: http://www.dreamdollsgallery.com/roberttonner/2010/lordoftherings.htm)

For an explanation of what's going on with this post, try here at the Underdark Gazette.

Meanwhile, a d30 Table:

d30 Unnatural Character Origins

1. I'm from a planet where everyone has my super-power
2. I'm from Middle America in the '80s
3. I used to be a turtle
4. I'm you, but from the future
5. I'm your father, but from Earth 11 where all the genders are reversed
6. I feel asleep a thousand years ago
7. My home planet exploded
8. I was born of the love of a moonbeam for a dewdrop
9. I woke up in a vat of goo
10. I started life as a gray cube found on a dusty shelf
11. My parallel universe collapsed with this one but somehow I'm still here
12. I was raised by snakes
13. I'm evolved from a simian species from the literature of your choice
14. I'm evolved from an insectoid species from the comic book of your choice
15. This is actually just my larval form
16. This isn't my body and I want my body back
17. This isn't my body and its owner wants it back
18. I'm a super-intelligent gorilla brain--I just took this body because I liked it
19. I'll be a god again once I find my trusty whatsit
20. My father is the Sky God and he will acknowledge me just as soon as he sees how great I am
21. I'm a stone robot
22. I change shape every 28 days, but it's not really my call
23. I'm a freakishly intelligent squirrel
24. I'm a figure from an enchanted painting
25. I'm a snow wife
26. I'm a mermaid who sprouted legs (I might have a debt with the Octopus Lady)
27. I used to be a toy
28. I haven't always been a toy
29. I may look like an elf but I'm a flower quickened by starseed
30. In my village we all breed like Mogwais so it's hard to tell us apart