Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Whimsey Wednesday

A One-Fisted Table (roll d4, d6, d8, d10, d12):

Dwarf (and Gnome) Beverages

While I by no means mean to conflate the cultures of these two distinct and sovereign cultures and races, the facts of biology seem to have granted to each similar palates and proclivities, causing their dietary preferences, at least in the realm of drink, to be quite alike.

Basic Ingredient (d4)
1 Root or Tuber
2 Fungus (including Lichen)
3 Mineral
4 Grubs

Method of Preparation (d6)
1 Stewed
2 Pickled
3 Fermented
4 Pureed ("nectar" consistency)
5 Distilled
6 Infused/Steeped (as in tea)

Effective Dosage (for a dwarf) (d8)
1 Whiff
2 Thimbleful
3 Ladleful
4 Mug
5 Flagon
6 Bottle
7 Gallon
8 Not Intoxicating

Body & Mouthfeel (d10)
1 Fizzy
2 Effervescent
3 Biting
4 Clear
5 Weak
6 Thick & Soupy
7 Gritty
8 Chunky
9 Turgid (or clay-like)
10 Creamy

Nose (d12)
1 Piquant
2 Foul
3 Floral
4 Eggy
5 Heady
6 Acrid
7 Smokey
8 Earthy
9 Metallic
10 Wet Doggy
11 Talc
12 Dank

And here's a link to a cool games review site called Drunk Dwarves.

And here's a drunk dwarf that somebody put on Deviant Art:

Oh yes, and here's a place where you can find a Twelve-Step Program in your area.


K said...

I rolled up mud (non-intoxicating stewed clay-like turgid mineral)!

Thanks! :( Can I have that 'on the rocks'?

I guess I'll go back to getting my butt kicked (by you) in Goa.


Ick the Ark said...

Well, the table is probably rigged to end up with dwarfs drinking mud most of the time. It's a conspiracy, I say!

K said...

That's racist!